


Cream Pies

by thelilnan



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Creampie, Cunnilingus, Episode Related, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:23:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelilnan/pseuds/thelilnan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie cooks up a cream pie scheme for him and Mac.</p>
<p>heads up: Charlie Kelly is a trans man in this fic (and in most of my headcanons)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cream Pies

“This wasn’t even the scheme, Charlie.”

“You keep saying ‘scheme.’ You’re just covering up the fact you jerk off with Dennis. There’s no _scheme_ there, man.”

“Whatever. This isn’t that.”

“You’re right, it’s better.”

Charlie said this all while setting up a camera and tripod not a foot from his pull-out. Beside him sat Mac, hands wringing in his lap and a nervous blush on his cheeks. Charlie ignored his friend’s discomfort and continued to fiddle with the battered and aged camcorder, making sure there was definitely a tape in it this time.

“You said you wanted to share cream pies. We’re doing that. _And_ making real cream pies when we’re done. It’s like a two-for-one!”

Mac exhaled sharply in reply.

“Dude,” Charlie turned to him once the camera was finally set up. The older of the two (though not by much) avoided eye contact, “You’re so fucking worried about doing gay shit and this is borderline at best.”

“Yeah you _say_ that,” Mac finally looked up. His eyes were dark but his expressive brows were knit with concern, “But at the end of the day, you’re a dude, dude. A dude with a pussy but still a dude.”

Charlie smiled wide, squinting his eyes a little like a contented cat. Mac smiled back almost immediately, a compulsion driven by Charlie’s infectious joy. He felt a little better already.

“Come on,” his smaller friend nudged him, “Our faces won’t even be on the camera. People’ll just think I’m a hairy girl or something.”

Mac seemed convinced by the paper thin logic and agreed. He started to remove his shirt automatically, standing and facing Charlie, who remained on the bed. He was going to say it wasn’t necessary and he’d planned to keep most of his clothes on anyway, but as soon as he saw Mac’s exposed chest, his throat tightened up.

Charlie had always loved Mac’s body. Maybe not so much when he’d “cultivated mass” but even then he’d found some sort of aesthetic pleasure in the firm swell of his belly. But now, after agreeing to lose the weight and eat regularly again, he’d returned to the form Charlie loved best. He wasn’t toned or scrawny like Dennis was, but softer at the edges (especially around the stomach). It made Charlie want to map out his body through his hands until he knew every curve, scar, and freckle by heart. He’d gotten a good idea of it those sporadic times they’d made out over the years, usually while drunk or high (or both). This would be their first time getting intimate without any influence and the thought hit both of them seemingly at once.

Mac stopped short of opening his pants, “I need a drink.”

Charlie was already going for his can of spray adhesive.

—

The aim of the video was really just the final shot; the cream pie, as it were. The preamble didn’t really matter since they weren’tactually trying to make porn (this discussion had taken a while to figure out). As such, Charlie didn’t try to fuss too much. After inhaling what he deemed an appropriate amount of glue, he got into position and allowed Mac to do as he pleased until they got to the main event (as it were). It was fine, as it goes; sex was never really anything Charlie cared about and this time was no different. Buzzed in the head and rocking on the bed to the rhythm of Mac’s self-conscious thrusts, Charlie let his mind drift.

It had to be some significant amount of time later when Mac suddenly pulled out. The abruptness of this confused Charlie; had he really been so out of it that he missed Mac’s orgasm? As he considered this, judging whether he should move into position so the camera could see the supposed load dripping out of him, Mac grabbed him with a determined strength that Charlie had forgotten the man possessed and he flipped him. Back on the mattress, legs in the air, Charlie didn’t even have time to ask Mac what the hell was going on before the older man pushed back into him, shoving all coherent thought from Charlie’s head.

_Oh_.

This was different. None of the popular guys in high school had done this. No one had ever been at eye-level, much less looking down at him like he was something amazing and precious. In all the times Charlie had literally been fucked over, it was hands and knees, quick and hard, and over before he thought about it too much; that’s why Adriano and his friends liked him so much.

But Mac was not Adriano Calvanese.

Mac was sensitive and perceptive and somehow knew how to fuck Charlie just right so his hands gripped his shoulders and his legs tightened around his waist; so Charlie’s eyes would flutter shut and little, helpless sounds would escape on each sharp push in. Charlie wanted to ask what the hell Mac thought he was doing because this was not what happened in porn. There was no consideration or closeness or slow thrusts that had “the girl” pushing back and curling “her” toes.

This was not porn.

Then it didn’t matter what it was. All that mattered was that Charlie was losing his head and building up to his first climax in what had to be years and all he could think was Mac, Mac, _Mac_... Eventually he gathered that he’d been saying this as well, as Mac swore and moved to silence him with his hand to try and save their identities. Right. The camera. Charlie meant to apologize for the slip but at that moment, Mac pushed so _deep_ into him that Charlie ended up nearly wailing his name and now Mac had to kiss him to shut him up.

From there, it was just writhing and biting kisses and gasping while climax built and built and built. Charlie dug his nails into Mac’s back, on the edge, when Mac made the most beautifully helpless sound and fucking _rammed_ into him. Charlie bit his lip, trying to swallow a shout, while Mac gasped and his hips twitched once or twice more. Fuck. That was it, wasn’t it. Mac had come inside of him. The thought made Charlie ache a little more than he’d expected.

Once again, Charlie was thwarted in his attempt to position for the camera, because the second Mac pulled out of him (one long, slow, careful movement), he was down between Charlie’s thighs and his tongue was on his clit. Charlie convulsed, crying out hoarsely, while Mac ate him out. It occurred to him in a distant kind of way that Mac was tasting both of them at once and that realization, coupled with the two fingers Mac pushed inside him, had Charlie coming hard and fast, hips bucking hard enough to warrant Mac’s strong arm braced over his stomach to keep him from breaking his nose.

Finally, it was over and Mac resurfaced with a slick mouth and wild hair. Charlie figured he must’ve grabbed it at some point; Mac’s perfectly slicked-back hair was always begging to be messed up anyway. Charlie smiled crookedly and looked at the camera.

“We... Might have to do that again,” Mac’s voice was rougher than Charlie’d ever heard it. He lazily rolled his head over to see what his friend was talking about.

“Huh?”

“Between my face getting on camera and you blabbering like an asshole, it’s not really anonymous ‘guy-on-girl’ anymore.”

Charlie chuckled but it was dry.

“I guess so.”

“Let me know when you’re ready.”

Charlie’s eyes bulged a little. As fucked out as he was, Mac wanted to go again? _Today?_

“Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Mac crawled over him, strong arms bracketing Charlie’s head as he leaned down to ghost his lips over his younger friend’s, “I love cream pie.”

Charlie grinned.

This was the best scheme ever.

 

End.

 


End file.
